Monday, March 26, 2007

Assembly Line Assault

Our company decided to put in an assembly line at our new DC location where I work. This was supposed to help speed up the shipping process, by enabling the line operators to shrink wrap pallets as the move along the line to their final shipping dock destination. They purchased said unit from a company that was supposed to come in and install it. This is the same company that installed our conveyor belt that failed, the second week in use, because it was not properly installed or maintained by this particular company.

It took forever for Howard, the owner I think, and his band of fools to come and install. I and several other men and woman witnessed quite the display of ignorance while watching these young inexperienced men try to assemble the unit. At one end there is a pallet table that lifts up and and down and rotates 180 degrees allowing workers to stack boxes on the pallet more easily. This was not installed properly, as a matter of fact we don't even need it or use it. When I asked the guy putting it together what it was for he said he did not know. "Then why do we need it?" He couldn't answer.

I have an answer. Because the people who sold it to us did not look at what we needed, but looked at what they could sell us. What kind of industrial assembly products company sells their client something they don't need?... A shady uneducated one. I asked Howard, the guy in charge, several poignant questions about the operation and the installation. He always had those, used car salesman from the 70s, answers. The kind packed plum full of garden manure.

After a couple of days of operation our shrink wrap unit started to lose momentum and we were reduced to actually pushing it manually around in circles. Someone called Howard to come fix it. In the weeks that followed, myself and several other plant people inspected the equipment and surmised that it was a mechanical failure. The turn table was out of balance and the guide wheels where shot. Along comes Howard and the gang. He brings several people with him none of whom seem to know much about trouble shooting, except the electrician.

Now to save time in the interest of our company, I'm not sure if these are billable hours from Howard or not, I suggest early in the morning that they disassemble the turn table to get to the root of the mechanical problem.

Allow me to illuminate. I am no one special at my place of employment, but my yearly bonus and our reputation depends on our ability to adequately provide product to our account holders. If we lose accounts, we lose business and then we lose our jobs. That being said the longer they dink around with this the longer we are held up. And if they are billing us for this "repair time", its costing us money.

So back to the root of the problem. After I relay what myself and my colleagues believe to be useful information I am told that this is an electrical problem and I really don't know what I am talking about. After wasting an entire day rewiring and "troubleshooting" they finally decide to take it apart. What do they discover.

A bent sprocket shaft and worn out trolley wheels. So my superior looks at Howard and says "So Howard still think it's an electrical problem".

Moral of the story:
#1
No matter how long you have, or more importantly have not, been in business always listen to your clients. At least pretend to listen, there by avoiding egg face.
#2 Always know those that labor among you, for there may be one wolf hiding as a sheep waiting to devour your money with no remorse.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Doorway To Freedom

Mouth agape the feeble old man scratched for his very life. "Quickly.. quickly", he thought. "I don't have much time." Claude could not remember how long he had been buried in this hole. "I think just one more to get through " ... "If this is not it, tomorrow I will be dead." Claude , with his old, weathered, bleeding nails, started to scratch slowly as not to disrupt the outcome of his mortal fight. "Left side first.", he thought. "Then the right." The old mans heart began to race! The adrenaline poured through his tired veins. "Is this it?"As he scraped up the middle he let out a small prayer. "Lord let this be my doorway to freedom."

Alas Claude rubbed off the middle section of the lotto ticket. With no fanfare or celebration Claude's last dollar was spent, and tomorrow "they" would come and he would breath his last breath.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Airlines, Airports, and American Terrorism

What is up with the airlines and their, "You need to calm down sir."? I know that we had a national crisis on 9/11. How many years ago was that again? I understand the possible threat of another attack, What I don't understand is the attitude of the airline/ airport officials or workers or what ever you call them. Jerks, that would be appropriate. Well maybe that was harsh... Maybe the pay scale sucks, and there are no bennies, and they deal with a lot of prickly people. Or maybe they are just jerks, especially at Ohare International Airport. I think they should let some of them drink on the job... might help... or maybe they already do.

My traveling companion was in a motor vehicle accident and needed a wheel chair, so we called ahead to the airlines, United... no actually it was Ted a division of United. (Get the play on words? Ted a division of UniTed.) So we get to Ohare and we are standing in line with the rest of the early birds and we approach an attendant to ask about the wheelchair that they said would be waiting. Here is what I said.

"Excuse me sir my travel companion called ahead to Ted and requested a wheal chair, she is in quite a bit of pain, who do we need to speak with about getting the wheelchair?"
His response ....yup you guessed it.

"You need to calm down!"

"Sir we just need to speak to someone about the chair."

"I said, You two need to calm down!"

So after some more waiting we finally get the chair. I need to point out that after we got through security, the agents of Ted were great. They took care of us very well.


Fast forward two years.

Same scenario except we are flying Northworst, I'm sorry Northwest, and this time we do not need a wheel chair. Our flight from Ohare to Phoenix with a layover in Minneapolis got cancelled do to a snow storm in Minneapolis. The moment we know about the cancellation my companion asks an attendant if there are any flights from Chicago to Phoenix that layover in a different city.

He says
"You need to calm down, all these people behind you need to get someplace as well."
At this point I look behind us and there are no people behind us. I should also mention in both instances we were calm.

I also can't figure out the deal with only 3 oz. of liquid or gels. So If I wanted to smuggle on board 3 oz of explosives all I have to do is bring on 3 separate 1 oz containers of the same material and then put them together with another accomplices 3 oz that they brought on board in three 1 oz. containers. Or I could bring one 2 oz. and one 1 oz. or one 3 oz. or .... you get the point. Three ounces of any explosives mixed with any multiple of three oz will equal enough explosives to cause collateral damage. Big deal.
I think I would be more worried about the pilot being drunk than a terrorist being on board.

I think as long as the airlines continue to ban liquid over 3 oz. , it forces the consuming public to purchase new toiletries after every flight. (I wonder who "owns" the toiletry companies) . It also forces us to purchase the three dollar water bottles and five dollar coffees from the airport gift shops or bookstore.

Oh and what about the fast food joints beyond the security check points? I know they must use sharp objects and other items that could be used as take over a weapons. Not to mention most of the people working at these places don't speak English.
Yes it is racial profiling, and no I am not ashamed or sorry ... many foreigners consider the middle aged white man to be the spawn of Satan or infidels, which is racial profiling, so deal with it.
I think I would be more worried about a foreign take over from the inside rather that from the outside at this point.

In a few years the Taliban, Al Qaeda, turban wearin' eastern speaking "terrorists" will have completely taken over the country not by force but by our complacent American lazy wimpy politically correct attitudes. They already have control of the fuel economy and not by way of oil fields. They own or work most convenience stores, trucking companies, and mass transit companies across America. I think the "terrorists" will appeal to the Mexicans and the African Americans...

I should just say Americans because most of them are born here, but you would not know of which Americans I am speaking, and black or negro is not politically correct any more, so I am left to once again profile racially... thank you, you liberal gun grabbin' bleeding heart bozos for making me feel self conscious about my choice of descriptive words... At least you haven't tainted the Mexican American community, they are still just Mexican and proud of it.

... and the three allied forces will shut down America from the inside. A huge walk out. No one to drive the taxis, no one to buy gas from, no one to drive truck etc. etc. etc.
No I am not racist or a white supremacist. I have friends of many nationalities races and creeds... I just call it like I see it. The "terrorists" will keep us busy for a few years with a few crude acts of violence as they establish their inside net work and then one day by way of sheer volume they will have control of the country. (How many years has it been since 9/11, we are still distracted and haven't a clue)

So back to the "no more than three oz of liquid". Upon our return flight from Phoenix to Minneapolis I had, in my carry on, a bottle of lotion (8.6 oz) and a bottle of water from Club Tattoo (12oz) that I was saving as a souvenir. They confiscated the lotion. I asked If I could put some on my newly tattooed skin before they took it away and they told me I would have to go back through the security check. What the hell for. Because last I knew liquids are not metallic and would not set off the detector no matter how much I put on my body. Oh maybe they figure I'm gonna smuggle in more than 3 oz of nitro enmeshed in the "body butter" and then Ill set myself ablaze once inside the aircraft. And once again, how is the metal detector going to tell if I just lathered on lotion or if I just creamed up with a special brew of C4.

As I am writing this I realize that this will be on the net and once posted, it will be filtered through our governments anti terrorists search engines and poodle-do sniffing agencies. The thought occurred to me to not post this.... Screw em'.... Ive had enough of being afraid to say what is on my mind or afraid of the threat of terror. We are terrorized more by our own fears than by actual terrorists events. I wouldn't be surprised if I got the "we cant be sending panic and fear out to our fellow Americans" leftist crap speech from some self important knob.

Like the booming voice over the airport loud speaker telling us that the National Terror Alert has been raised to level orange isn't sending panic and fear into our fellow Americans. I mean who in their right mind would not fear the color orange! .... (A Clock Work Orange, Jack-o-Lanterns, Salsa... very scary!)

So back to the security check point with the lotion and the water bottles. The lotion did not make it through. The water on the other hand did. almost three quarters full! So that's like 8 oz of liquid I took right through security and right on the plane. Boy I feel safe now. And just remember that when visiting our nations airports to stay calm.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Guitar Center (part three)

After a while of going round and round with the phone jockeys I was finally able to speak with someone who could help me. No it was not the store manager, it was Nick. I was assured that he could help, whatever the problem. So I lay it all on him about the poor experience I had and more importantly about the defects. He tells me, "No prob just return the guitar and we will get another one for ya." I say "Great how long is this going to take, I will be out of town for a week." He replies, "That'll be great, we'll have enough time to get it in and inspect it for you." I also remind him of the strings and setup that was promised and not delivered.

6 days later

I call Guitar Center to let them now I will be flying into Chicago on a Thursday and I will be there to pick up my new guitar on Friday. I am informed that they have two awaiting my inspection.

My entrance to Guitar Center is anything but welcome. I get the cold shoulder from Michale... not a word. Nick the store go-to-guy is nowhere to be found and I am stuck with a bunch of clueless lackeys who are trying to put away stock without falling all over each other. Before I go any further, I do not blame the young dudes for being clueless, it is there managers job to make sure they are properly trained. So I wait... and I wait... finally Nick comes from the back with one guitar, not two for me to inspect, just one. I plug it in and inspect. "Couple of dead frets, and the neck is a bit bent." I say to Nick. He turns to Michale and says, "Do you have time to fix this." "No not really." he snaps. Nick informs him he has time to fix it. I walk with Michale to the repair area he does not talk or make eye contact even when I ask, " What store did this guitar get shipped from?" Although he did not like having to do this, I have to say he did do a great job on the guitar setup.

Now it's time to check out and I still don't have the case I wanted, the new strings, or the extras.
There are no tags or registration card. I ask the kid behind the counter to make sure I get this stuff. He hands me a poster and some booklet and a registration card for a Cherry Sunburst Gibson Les Paul. My guitar is not a Cherry Sunburst Gibson Les Paul. Although it is a Les Paul, I don't think it will work to register it with the Cherry Sunburst' serial number. I keep the registration card anyway, he wants to be a doof I'll let him. I will call Gibson and take care of my registration problems over the phone with them. (this could be blog worthy!)
I leave feeling somewhat justified, at least I now have a new guitar.

Monday, March 5, 2007

Guitar Center (part two)

So after I travel home I uncase my precious. Little side note... Guitar Center did not have the brand specific case for the guitar, I had to settle for an off brand. I remember asking for the case that goes with this specific guitar with a certain color interior plush, but that seemed of no interest to the staff. I think what happened was Michale lowerd the price of the guitar to far for him to include the more expesive case in the deal. Not only did I not get the case I wanted,.... no extras, no new strings, none of the frills I was promised the week earlier. I did not even get the registration card for the guitar! Nothin'!

Listen up sales pukes. If you think the client is wavering on a purchase, do not, I repeat, do not promise anything you are not willing to deliver on. Most people would rather pay the extra few dollars for the extras or at least given the option to say yay or nay depending on price. So be sure to figure that into your price quote! Nothing says "liar" more than the bate and switch routine. Music stores are notorious for this!

So, not only did I get nothing extra with the guitar, it was an inferior insrument. There was some quality issues with the finish on the neck and the gold hardware was rubbed off on the bridge from being played... alot! I ran the serial number and found it was a 2 year old guitar.
I payed for a new guitar and got an old used up floor model. I was a bit upset. I called the store to talk to the store manager... this is what ensued.

"Hello thank you for calling Guitar Center blah blah blah"

"Yes I would like to speak with the store manager"

"Well this is so and so how can I help you?"

"Are you the store manger?"

"No, but I can help you."

"No, I need to speak with the store manager."

"Well he is not in now...."

"I will call back later thank you."


After a few calls over the course of a few days I get this.

"Thanx for calling Guitar Center blah blah blah..."

"Yes can I speak with the store manager please."

" Let me transfer you to Nick"


Long puase while I am on hold waiting forNick who is not the store manger by the way.


"Yeah are you waiting for Nick..."

"I am waitng for the store manager."

"Well this is (rude know it all) in drums and my manager can help you out."

"Is he the store manger?"

"No but he can help out."

"Thanx but I need to speak to the store manager about this issue."

"Well I can transfer you to Nick"

Now I am very upset, not because he is unwilling to help, but because he is not listening! I have dealt with this guy before and he is more interested in being right than listening to what you need... trying to upsell at every chance. Needless to say I havn't given any money to his department. I have chosen to shop elseware for drums and acessories.

"No you can not tranfer me to Nick because he is not the store manager! I just got done telling you I need to speak to the store manger! You are not listening to me!"

"I will call back later!"


Sunday, March 4, 2007

Guitar Center (part one)

I recently purchased a guitar from the Guitar Center in Madison, WI. The experience, as a whole, was very... uh... lackluster. Now I have purchased from other Guitar Centers in America, and have found the customer service to be relatively good. As a matter of fact the Guitar Center in Tempe, AZ. is great!


I choose to buy my musical instruments and gear from a music store instead of online because I like the Music Store purchasing experience. There is nothing like the "buzz" created by the other musicians loitering on the in-store-gear and the smell of fresh tolex and guitar polish. I like to be able to loiter on the gear I intend to purchase for at least an hour to be sure its what I want. I really like the informative, musically intellectual, conversation exchange between the sales reps and myself. I also I like to give the sales reps a little workout to weed out the "weenies".


There is always at least one sales weenie who treats you like he is the guitar god and you are the lowly guitar doof. Most of the time I let them run their mouth, and then I will let them "show" me just how good this guitar sounds when they play it.... and then I burn-em-at- the- stake by picking up the instrument they just put down and "showing" them I'm not new at this.


Back to the recent purchase.
I usually work with a well informed and very friendly accessories sales rep named Rebecca. I had not, up to this point, made any major purchases outside of the accessories department and had asked her if she could sell outside of her department... say like a guitar. She said it shouldn't be a problem.


That being said let me educate for a moment. Guitar Center has figured out the selling power of a strategically placed good looking young woman. Most if not all Guitar Centers have at least one female "hottie" behind a counter somewhere in the store. The male customer traffic flow does increase when they are working and, Guitar Center also knows most guys wont back down from a major purchase in front of a good looking gal in order to not look like a broke musician. (Somehow men lose there sense of self control around fresh young woman)


Although Rebecca does fit this profile I do not work with her because she is a "hottie" , I work with her because she knows her gear very well and she knows what great customer service is.


All of you wanna be guitar sales reps listen up. No! really listen to what the customer is saying and respond appropriately. I don't want to hear about who or what your favorite player or gear is, I want you to talk about the gear I am interested in purchasing. Now I know you work on commission and it is a scary thing to look like you might not know what your talking about... but don't ramble on about some garbage I am not interested in... suck it up ... go ask the next available rep and find out what I need to know. Then you will look like a person who is more interested in meeting the customers needs than a person who is interested in being right. You'll also know the answer to whatever the question, the next time it comes up.


That is why I choose to work with Rebecca. As a whole females are more likely to find the answer to a quandary regardless if they have to ask another person for help. Don't believe... when was the last time you heard of a guy asking for directions.


Again... back to the purchase.
I don't live very close to the Guitar Center in question so when I called on a Sat. to sign up for a contest they were running I was a little disappointed to find out they would closed before I could make it there. But when the guy on the phone, Nick, asked me how far away I was he said no problem come on in and we will open the doors and let you sign up. I'm thinking this is great! A place that will keep the doors open for a person that might not even buy something.
I entered the store and to my surprise found a lot of peeps just hanging out. I found Michale the contest orginizer, and hurriedly signed up for the contest.


While I was listening to Michale the guitar guru excitedly chew my ear about some guitar player and guitar I could care less about, I spotted the guitar I have wanted to purchase for some time. I asked "How much?", he shoots me a price, I say "I need the hard shell case, cuz who would take there prize guitar anywhere without the hard shell case". "I want the (brand specific) purple or wine colored plush interior". I ask "What can you do for me on the guitar and the case". (for anyone who has not purchased a guitar before, the case is not included) He fires off another price.


At this point I realize before I get any deeper into conversation with this guy I need to honor my sales rep Rebecca. I ask, "Is Rebecca in today". "No", is his response, "She only works accessories anyway." "I usually go through her." I say quickly..... no response. I assume there is some problem and she cannot sell out of her area.
Before leaving he says he will throw in some strings, do a set up and throw in some extras. I like to think about all of my purchases so I say I will be back in a week or so and I will pick up the guitar.


About a week later I am on my way to Guitar Center to pick up "my precious", "my baby", "my...." OK I know its just a guitar but I have wanted this particular one since I was in high school before it was ever a production model! At that time this dude made one for himself and it was killer! Still is! Anyway I get to Guitar Center and as soon as I walk in I notice a foul stench in the atmosphere.


Someone had dirtied the waters with the proverbial turd. I can sense that somehow I have become the traitor... I need to get to the source of the fowl stench, but first I get my guitar. "Maestro... guitar please" Michale hands me the fine piece of craftsmanship and I saunter off to find Rebecca so that I can plug it in to a specific amp an check it for any electronic defects.


"Hi Rebecca I need to plug in to check this out!" "Well plug it in over there." she snaps, turns and walks away. Not the usual help full Rebecca. I get a hint of stench. I think I have figured out the mystery, so back over to accessories I go, and tell her I need to speak with her.


It takes a while but she is finally free to speak so I ask if she could have sold me the guitar. "Yeah" she says "but its no big deal". I could tell it was a big deal by the frustration that was exuding from her aura. I say "It is a big deal" and I explain what Michale had said about her being just an accessories personnel. I also explained that "I have not made the purchase and would gladly get the store manager involved to make sure that she was properly compensated." She says that will not be necessary Michale is her brother and I can buy from her the next time.


I was really peeved by this situation. I would like to say it was cuz someone messed over his own sister just to make a sale, but un-heroically and quite selfishly I was pissed because i was used as a pawn in someone's petty game. I start the meditation juggle.... Do I just walk out, and not get what I came for or do I buy it anyway and leave feeling a little violated. I buy it but not without a little confrontation.


Part of the problem with the customer service breakdown in America is we dont let people know that they are doing a bad job for fear of retaliation...


I go to Michale and say "Uh hey man I feel like Rebecca got short changed on this whole deal. Ya know I usually work with her, and you made me feel like she could not sell a guitar". This is where I realize this is not the first time this has happened and that he had purposely deceived me. His face gets all red and he starts to find ways to make it right, and talking about how he will have to pay for it later, because she is his sister, and this isn't the first time he has upset Rebecca at work. In the end he put her name on the ticket with his as the salesperson. I felt this was better than nothing and I picked up my axe and proceeded to leave.
The fiasco that follows will take a little more time to write so you'll have to wait for the next installment.

Saturday, March 3, 2007

The Big Electronics Illusion (cont.)

I have found that point specific questions about hardware or software will get you a dizzying array of responses, none of which are helpful. On the other hand, if any reference to a new PS or X-Box game is made, you'll get a plethora of useless info. (nothing more exiting than learning the fine intricacies of finding the hidden passage to untold riches and power in the latest storyline games)
That said, if you do happen to find someone who can help you with your questions, and they have a good customer service work ethic, they are usually only working there temporarily and next month they will be gone. I blame the unwillingness of these large companies to pay a decent wage and to supply full time employment, for the lack of "GOOD" employees. - what "GOOD" employee would stick around when these are not offered?

Friday, March 2, 2007

The Big Electronics Illusion

I don't know which one to start with so I will make some generalizations.

  • Low paying and part time.. (this keeps down over head costs)
  • They like to call there employees "associates"
  • Uniforms to add to the professional illusion

First up!

Best Buy,Circuit City, and any other elctronics "big boxes".

Most "associates" are college students too interested in who, or what, they are doing this weekend to care about what it is you need or want. If per chance you get one of them to break free of there "coffee talk huddle" to come and see what you need, be prepared to be immediately let down. Most likely they will need to get the manager on duty to help you find that specific item, which is usually located on the shelf just behind the large flock of color coordinated "associates" who are too busy to be bothered with your petty questions.

The First Post

America the Wasteland... the land of opportunity, ...
and customer service is out the door. Don't believe?...

Welcome to the reality of service in America. I can only begin to scratch the surface of my irritation with most places of business I visit. There are a host of problems I will gladly gripe about in the coming months, but a little disclaimer first.

If you don't like the truth or are offended easily.. then I encourage you to read on and get educated to the wasteland we call America. I will change some names to protect the innocent, but if you or the company you work for are guilty... protection denied, let the gripe begin.